


The Measure of a Man

by Caroly214



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 02-14 Crack in the System, Angst, Arsenal is an Avenger, Character Study, Episode Tag, Gen, Pre-Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroly214/pseuds/Caroly214
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode Tag for Avengers Assemble 02-14 "Crack in the System."  The reasons Tony didn't tell the others about his plan.  Tony angst and Tony/Steve UST, with Tony/Arsenal friendship and mentions of Howard Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Measure of a Man

**Author's Note:**

> My first work at AO3 and my first fic in years. Here's hoping I don't screw it up (also, I'm recovering from a 3 day migraine, so if I screwed anything up, please let me know). Also un-betaed because I dropped out of active fandom years ago and lost touch with my regular betas.
> 
> I'm posting this for a few reasons:  
> 1) I'm tired of Tony being the bad guy - or at least, not being as good as the others.  
> 2) Crack in the System - especially the end - pissed me off, based on reason number 1. And then I took the line "I couldn't lose Arsenal again" and ran with it.  
> 3) I'm still trying to work out how I feel about Age of Ultron, for lots of reasons.
> 
> Title shamelessly stolen from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode with the same name.
> 
> This probably won't make much sense unless you've seen the episode. Also, I wrote this before the next episode aired, so the ending could be considered AU, or perhaps just an idea Tony didn't follow through on.

Tony sighed as Steve walked away, trying to ignore the ID card on the desk and the pain in his heart.  He wished he could have said something that would have prevented the dissolution of the Avengers, something that would have made Steve trust him, but he had nothing.

The thing was, it hadn't been an oversight.  Tony deliberately hadn't told the other Avengers about his plan - his need to at least try to save Arsenal - because they didn't see Arsenal as a person.  If a biological person had been in Arsenal's place, the Avengers never would have suggested simply killing him to defeat the enemy.  They'd have done everything they could to save the possessed person, while still defeating the enemy. Allowing the person to die wouldn't have been an option, especially if the person was a fellow Avenger. 

Arsenal was a person.  He had a personality and the ability to make his own decisions.  Tony didn't need Asimov or Turing to know when someone was a real person.  All it took was one conversation with Arsenal and he knew.  But to the other Avengers, Arsenal was just a machine, easily discarded.  They never saw Arsenal as an actual Avenger, even though he had sacrificed himself to defeat Thanos and just recently saved the day when the rest of the Avengers were getting their asses handed to them by Thanos and the gauntlet. 

But maybe it wasn't just Arsenal they didn't see as a true Avenger.  What did it say that the only members of the Avengers who stood up for him - Clint and Thor - were the ones who probably knew him the least?  Those who had worked closely with him and knew him well - Steve and Sam (and Natasha, because she knew everything) - were the ones to constantly question him. 

There was more to it, though.  If he was fully honest with himself, Tony had to admit that his need to save Arsenal was partly - maybe mostly - selfish: everyone else had a partner, but he was literally the odd man out.  Hawkeye and Black Widow had been partners long before joining the Avengers.  Despite their rivalry and initial mutual dislike for one another, Thor and Hulk worked as a team.  And, of course, Cap had taken Falcon under his wing.

Tony was a little jealous - ok, a lot jealous - of Cap and Falcon's partnership.  Falcon had been Tony's friend and colleague and Tony was the one who brought him into the Avengers.  And Steve had always been one of Tony's best friends.  But the 2 of them decided to partner with each other, leaving Tony behind.

The rest of the Avengers had shown over and over that they didn't need Tony.  They'd go out without him, while he was stuck alone (ok, he was with Jarvis and Tony loved Jarvis.  But Jarvis couldn't fully watch Tony's back or fight at his side).  Maybe it was childish, but he just wanted someone to always have his back, no matter what, and it looked like the only one who would was the friend his father had created for him - and yes, in the back of his mind, Tony knew that having your father make a friend for you was probably even more pathetic than making your own friends, but Starks weren't exactly known for being emotionally healthy and well adjusted.  And Arsenal was the last chance Tony would ever have to really get to know his father and maybe finally understand why they never had the father-son relationship he'd always dreamed of.  Knowing that his father was - indirectly - watching his back had made him feel, for the first time, that his father would be proud of him. 

In the end, even knowing the awkward and limited relationship Tony had with his father, Steve couldn't resist pointing out that Howard was better than Tony.  He'd have thought Captain America would have been above getting in such a low blow, but a lot of Tony's expectations of Captain America had been wrong.  Steve had always rubbed it in Tony's face that he knew Howard better, but to hear Steve confirm what Tony had always feared about his father - that Tony was an inferior disappointment - stung.  And all the more so since, despite everything, Tony couldn't help but look up to Steve; he'd hoped that, despite their differences, they were best friends and that maybe someday, they could have been something more.

But Steve had long criticized everything about Tony - his plans, how he fought, his way of seeing the world - as not good enough.  It wasn't enough that their fighting styles were different; to Steve, Tony's fighting style and reliance on technology was just wrong.  But what did Tony bring to the Avengers if not his genius and technology?  They had heavy hitters and natural fighters. And Sam was brilliant in his own right. All Tony had was his armor - though during the body swap incident, Steve had actually said that piloting the armor was easy, implying, perhaps unintentionally, that anyone could do what Tony did.  Tony hadn't been able to help the twisted pleasure he felt when Steve discovered the hard way that handling the armor wasn't as easy as he'd thought.

Now Steve had resigned because he couldn't trust Tony or Tony's leadership, but all Tony could do was wonder why it had taken so long for Steve to leave, because it was clear Steve had never really trusted him - as a leader, a fellow Avenger, or as a friend. This, despite the fact that Tony had nearly died to save Steve back when they reformed the Avengers. Back then, Steve said that he supported Tony's leadership, but it seemed like he was always lecturing.  And those times he did support Tony, he just turned around later on and started criticizing.  Case in point: Ultron; Steve went from reassuring Tony that they'd defeat Ultron, to criticizing Tony's efforts to find Ultron. Plus, Tony wasn't the most emotionally aware person, but even he couldn't miss the number of times that Steve had jumped in and given orders, even when Tony was right there.  It was like Steve just couldn't let go of being the leader, though Tony wondered if Steve would have been able to accept Tony's leadership if Steve had actually respected Tony.

The others didn't know about Steve's resignation yet, but Tony was sure that as soon as they did, things would get ugly.  He didn't expect them to all desert him immediately; after all, none of them trusted him to defeat Ultron alone, so Tony was sure they'd stick around for that.  In the end, they'd leave, just like everyone else had. Just like Steve had.

It seemed all Tony ever did was disappoint.  He thought he'd moved beyond the idea of not even trying if he knew it wouldn't work, but despite his success professionally and with the Avengers, those old insecurities had stubbornly stuck with him.

Tony was done.  What was the point in waiting for the rest of them to leave?  They laughed at his predictability models, but he'd always been able to accurately predict his fellow Avengers' behavior.  He knew they'd leave soon enough.  So once he defeated Ultron - and Tony would defeat him - he'd leave.  Go back to being a solo act.  They could have the tower, the Avenge-jet, and the Avengers.  He just wasn't made to work with - let alone lead - a team.  Nor, apparently, was he meant to have a partner, someone to always have his back and fight at his side.  He was better off alone.  No one else to disappoint that way.

And then he could mourn the loss of his friend, away from those who refused to see that being made of metal didn't mean you weren't a person.


End file.
